But as a wealth of imaging studies highlight, the neural alchemy continues throughout life as we mature and forge friendships, dabble in affairs, succumb to romantic love, choose a soul mate. The body remembers how that oneness with Mother felt, and longs for its adult equivalent.
That reads well. It has the kind of breezy casual persona that people like it their essays on love and relationships. Except for the very dark and possibility dangerous old Freudian notion that we live in a mother fixated world. Substituting father would still be as awful. I’m not sure everyone that uses the term knows what it means, but most of western culture grows up hearing the term Oedipus complex. There are probably some people who have something resembling a mother fixation with sexual elements, and some mothers who have the mirror version towards their children. That doesn’t mean it is close to reaching the point where it could be called a universal phenomenon. Granted she uses the term “adult equivalent” as a qualifier, but it dangles there barely doing its job of qualifying.
While they were both in the psychology department of Stony Brook University, Bianca Acevedo and Arthur Aron scanned the brains of long-married couples who described themselves as still “madly in love.” Staring at a picture of a spouse lit up their reward centers as expected; the same happened with those newly in love (and also with cocaine users). But, in contrast to new sweethearts and cocaine addicts, long-married couples displayed calm in sites associated with fear and anxiety. Also, in the opiate-rich sites linked to pleasure and pain relief, and those affiliated with maternal love, the home fires glowed brightly.
A happy marriage relieves stress and makes one feel as safe as an adored baby. Small wonder “Baby” is a favorite adult endearment.
Those are great feelings, high on love. Though once a couple gets into the day to routine of being together some people find it as stressful or even more stressful than being alone. Little noises can get on each others’ nerves. You can’t come and go as you please. You have to get permission or invite your partner to come along. What volume should the TV be at or what to watch can become a big deal. You used to watch what you wanted – a few minutes of VH1, flip over to two minutes of shark attacks – with the sound way up, than a lull of 40 minutes of drama. You can’t do that anymore unless you are one of those couples who has separate rooms and you’ve worked out that kind of arrangement. Sleep when you want, eat when you want. Surf the net or read or stop and start various little projects. Switch gears according to your mood. That is pretty much over. Obviously for many people the sacrifices and other compensations make it worth while. Love, at least live in till death do you part love, is not for everyone. She leaves out that aspect of being human and love. Which would not bother me if the writer were just dashing off a pop culture magazine piece. She is giving this glossy view of love with a veneer of neuroscience. Looky here, the science saw these opiate like brain waves when people love each other. How about the brain waves when they’re telling the same joke for the 10th time or didn’t clip their toe nails or used the last bit of milk or said they’d pick up the dog from the vet and forgot. Or a couple I know that got a divorce after thirty years. How do those brain waves look.
Many ALEC-drafted bills pursue standard conservative goals: union-busting, undermining environmental protection, tax breaks for corporations and the wealthy. ALEC seems, however, to have a special interest in privatization — that is, on turning the provision of public services, from schools to prisons, over to for-profit corporations. And some of the most prominent beneficiaries of privatization, such as the online education company K12 Inc. and the prison operator Corrections Corporation of America, are, not surprisingly, very much involved with the organization.
What this tells us, in turn, is that ALEC’s claim to stand for limited government and free markets is deeply misleading. To a large extent the organization seeks not limited government but privatized government, in which corporations get their profits from taxpayer dollars, dollars steered their way by friendly politicians. In short, ALEC isn’t so much about promoting free markets as it is about expanding crony capitalism.
ALEC was the architect of Florida’s infamous Stand Your Ground law.
Young Man Leaning Forward And Working With A large Drill by Albrecht Durer(1471-1528). Things to be thankful for today that we might not have thought about: power tools.
Before they went off to fight in Afghanistan, the guys of 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines talked quietly about their deepest fear. Not dying. Not losing a leg or an arm.
It was having their genitals ripped off, burned away or crushed in the fiery blast of an improvised explosive device.
This was no idle concern to young men bursting with testosterone. The makeshift bombs known as IEDs are taking a frightening toll in Afghanistan, the blasts shearing off arms and legs, ripping through soft flesh, crushing organs and bone, and driving dirt, rocks and filth deep into torn flesh — often leaving the genitals shredded or missing. Some guys said they’d rather be dead.
Very touching essay. Kudos to the guys that came forward to tell their stories.
Lucy Stone-ninth plate daguerreotype. Courtesy the Library of Congress. The photo was published sometime between 1840 and 1860. Stone was born in 1818, died 1893. Stone was the first woman from Massachusetts to earn a college degree and went on to become both a prominent abolitionist and suffragist. Suffrage as a movement is generally not recognized to have started in the U.S. until the late 19th century. Though it is known from letters and diaries that women in the abolitionist movement also frequently spoke about the plight of women in their meetings. They saw the issues as closely tied. Stone helped organize the first the first national American women’s rights convention, held in Worcester, Massachusetts. From shortly after the Civil War until her death in 1893, Lucy and her husband Henry Brown Blackwell were co-editors of the preeminent women’s suffrage newspaper, the Woman’s Journal.
What is a daguerreotype?
Lana Del Rey – Blue Jeans. Love is like swimming with alligators? The male model/boyfriend has some nice tatts.
MP3 from Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Jeans/dp/B006ZDS8AA
Gillian Hills – Zou bisou bisou (1962)