yearning for the ideal and settling, lucid autumn leaves wallpaper, virtue and suicide

Study shows real partners are no match for ideal mate

Our ideal image of the perfect partner differs greatly from our real-life partner, according to new research from the University of Sheffield and the University of Montpellier in France. The research found that our actual partners are of a different height, weight and body mass index than those we would ideally choose.

The study, which was published this week (27 September 2010) in the Journal PLoS ONE, found that most men and women express different mating preferences for body morphology than the actual morphology of their partners and the discrepancies between real mates and fantasies were often larger for women than for men.

The study also found that most men would rather have female partners much slimmer than they really have. Most women are not satisfied, either, but contrary to men, while some would like slimmer mates, others prefer bigger ones.

If I know someone for a while and they start to talk about their partner i will inevitably start to build a mental picture of what that partner is like, both in appearance and personality. I’m rarely proven right when I meet the pardon. I get it wrong both ways on appearance figuring they will be with someone more attractive or less. I really get personalities wrong. Doesn’t it make sense on an intuitive level a pleasant person will have a partner who is at least equal in niceness or charm. Nice people frequently hook up with people who range from cranky to mean to moody. I’m going with my own pieces of the puzzle theory for now. The bad cop completes the good cop and vice versa. Though low self esteem probably plays a role for the nice half of the couple. Thinking they don’t deserve better.

fall wallpaper

lucid autumn leaves wallpaper. update: fixed link problem.

Finding civil or criminal liability in a suicide is complicated. In criminal the law the bar for proving liability – directly causing the death – is set high. It should be as cause and effect regarding an action which might put someone in prison for life is serious business. In civil law where a plaintiff – the family of the suicide victim – is looking for liability in contributing to injuries which have occurred via the suicide. Whether either of these pertains to Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi and those who video taped and/or harassed him applies is difficult to say. There are many good points made in this essay – Clementi’s suicide: Many are to blame – in regards to the cultural, moral and legal aspects. Civil and criminal charges have been filed and won against people who have been determined to either directly contributed to a suicide or were grossly negligent in their responsibilities toward that person (those are usually schools and professional personnel and even then the standard for proof is very high). One thing that we can say for certain at this point is gay rights did not kill Mr. Clementi. Gay rights killed Clementi – The body count of the gay rights movement grows by one

It is obvious that Clementi didn’t kill himself simply because his actions were made public; as a musician, no doubt he had been filmed before and some of those films may have even been put online. He killed himself because he could not live with the shame of knowing that everyone would be aware of his submission to what he apparently believed to be evil desires. While giving in to our desire for evil is something that we all do from time to time, it is also true that some desires happen to be more shameful or humiliating than others. For example, a man’s desire for his neighbor’s wife is sinful, but few consider it to be as appalling as his desire for his neighbor’s child.

Nothing like a extremely long distance psycho analysis combined with some twisted form of Biblical tyranny to parse out Mr. Clementi’s last thoughts. Clementi  had a little time to think and saw that one adult having a consensual relationship with another adult in what they thought was the privacy of their room, realized what he had done was exactly like having coercive sex with a child. If Mr. Vox cannot figure out the difference between adult and minor child or the difference between coercive and consensual, he is not possessed of the proper knowledge or mental clarity to be writing about the subject much less passing judgment. Vox’s mindset is very similar to Grand Inquisitor of the Inquisition. Those suspected of heresies and impurity bring any pain they bare upon themselves and are deserving of that pain. The judges simply provide the noose, the rack and the bridge as a convenience. It has not been unusual for evil to pass itself off as virtue throughout history.